Rebuilding in Sichuan

Boston.com has an amazing photo essay on the damage in Beichuan county, six months after the quake.

ap·pre·ci·ate

Another thing I appreciate about living here:

• The star-rating system for cabbies. Zero is the worst, four is the best (at least I think so; I've never seen a five). Zero-star cabbies may/may not really know the roads and will probably fumble around to get your change, whilethree-star cabbies usually speak some very basic English (Hello/left/right/straight...). Never tried a four-star cab, but the ratings are usually pretty accurate.

China Sharks Media Day

Alright, so it wasn't really a Media Day.  It was just me and a couple reporters from the Shanghai Times.  But that's pretty much as good as it gets for a hockey team around here.  Anyways, I got to interview a couple of the players while the Chinese media got to watch Peter, the Sharks' Assistant to the Coach (i.e. translator) strap on the pads and skate around clumsily. 

Pretty amusing, actually.  Anyways, I ended up having lunch with the coaches, and I talked my way into a gig as a video coach of some sorts.  Not really sure what it is yet; I'll find out tonight. 

From Child's Play to Convicts' Play

Skid Row Photography Club, a project similar to the Malafi Photo Initiative has just popped up in LA.

Chinese Democracy

Guns 'N Roses' new album, Chinese Democracy, was just released, and it is definitely not getting good reviews in China. The CD and its official website have been banned, though you can still get at it if you're down with Bittorrent or MySpace. No big deal though, since according to Chinese Foreign Ministry spokesman Qin Gang, "Many people don't like this kind of music. It's too noisy and clamorous."

In general, the Chinese are really, really sensitive when it comes to foreigners suggesting that there are things wrong with China. Even my Dad's like that, and he's been living in Canada for more than 25 years now. And the fact that this album is art--something that usually gets artists a free pass in Western cultures--doesn't soften the perceived harshness of any criticisms. As New Matilda journalist Dan Edwards recently opined,

The attendant conception of art as a disruptive force that might challenge the assumptions by which we make sense of the world has little traction in China, and is actually regarded as a threatening notion by a significant number of people — not least those in positions of power.

-Dan Edwards, NewMatilda.com

Anyways, you can find the full lyrics of the title track here. Critical or not, the Falun Gong reference pretty much ensures that the government will do its best to bury the album.

The Chinese MC Hammer

I love that the guy's mom is just sitting there knitting like it's no big deal.  I mean, this dude must practice a lot.

Update:  It gets better.  Turns out "HammerXXX" has his own Youtube channel.  Plus he's jacked.

Claude Comes to China

Claude Lemieux, four time Stanley Cup Champion, Conn Smythe trophy winner and TSN's "most hated player" in NHL history, has just signed with the China Sharks.  Lemieux had been looking to resurrect his NHL career in recent weeks, but apparently nobody was interested in a 43-year old who'd been retired for 4 years. 

He's played in the Sharks' last two games (both in Korea), and recorded one assist.  Ironically, the team the Sharks played was the same one that Esa Tikkanen was once a player-coach for.

Oh, and the video above isn't really a Lemieux vid, but whatever.  I'll jump at any opportunity to post a goalie fight video.

Historical Chinglish

I'm assuming the sign says "US Army! Go back your sweet home!". Picture taken in 1946.

By the way, I got this off Google, who has just teamed up with LIFE to put all the magazine's archived photos up online. Lots of great pics there.

Blogger's High

China just became the first country to make internet addiction an official psychological disorder, and has even opened up treatment centres to help those who are afflicted. According to Dr. Tao Ran, the "leading expert" in this field, anyone who spends 6:07 hours a day online may have developed an over-dependence on the internet. Dr. Tao also somehow discovered that 76% of juvenile crime in Beijing can be traced back to Al Gore's series of tubes. On the upside, 80% of addicts are curable with 3-month rehab sessions.

Brings to mind the guy who died two years ago in an internet cafe after a three-day gaming binge.

Earthquake Orphans

According to BBC, only 12 of the 600 children orphaned in the Wenchuan earthquake in May have been officially adopted. According to officials, most of the rest of the children would be placed with relatives, while the rest will eventually be picked up by the social system either through adoptions to non-relatives or orphanages. Those left in orphanages will receive RMB600 (less than $100) monthly from the government.

Here's hoping all the children get settled soon.

11/11

November 11th: Remembrance Day in Canada, Memorial Day in the US, and Singles' Day (光棍节 Guanggun Jie) in China.  Another way of saying it is that North Americans observed moments of silence while China went speed-dating.

ap·pre·ci·ate

ap·pre·ci·ate

transitive verb

a: to grasp the nature, worth, quality, or significance of

b: to value or admire highly

c: to judge with heightened perception or understanding : be fully aware of

d: to recognize with gratitude

- Webster's Dictionary

When I was travelling in Spain, I met a guy who worked in a hostel who started a guestbook and asked visitors to write down seven things they appreciated. Except he didn't define appreciate like Webster's does. He defined it as something that made your life better, but not something that you actively wanted or missed not having when it was gone. I thought it was a great way to try to define those little things in life that make it worth living. I forget exactly what I wrote, but one of my entries was something about when a baby grabs your finger. It's not something I go running around looking for, but it's great when it happens.

Anyways, I think it's also a good way to help frame how you experience a new country and a new culture. I'm going to try to make this a running segment, and I'll start today with three things I've really appreciated about living in China.

1. Chinglish. Always unintentionally funny and something that never fails to crack me up.
2. Budging in line. Can't say I'm going to miss that. But I can't say I'm not going to miss it either.
3. Thunderstorms. They are totally badass here. The sky just explodes with thunder and lightning...there's no way you can't feel alive during one, even if you're sitting around nice and safe inside.
   

Six months...

...since the earthquake in Sichuan.  Here's hoping that things are getting somewhat back to normal for all those affected.  In my mind, the picture above is one of the most touching images from that event; it's of a taxi driver in Beijing during the national moment of silence.  Taxi drivers here (and everywhere I guess) are so hardened that it really hits home when you see one just totally break down.

Update: Al-Jazeera checks in on what's been going on in Sichuan.

A Case of the Mondays

The best thing about Mondays in China?  You get a 13 hour head start on North America.  And there's nothing good to dick around on on the internet yet, so you actually get to work.

Been writing a bit for Shanghaiist (where I work); I made a quick post last week on AIDS in China if you're interested.  Check it out here.

Word of the Day

Chinese slang: 手淫 shǒu yín

Literal translation: obscene (excessive?) hand

Meaning: masturbating

I'm, uh, going to get back to what I was doing before I posted now.

Obama!

I wasn't able to drag my ass out of bed or head downtown to catch the election coverage on CNN, but judging from this post by Shanghai Scrap, I think it's safe to say that Obama's victory was well-received here in Shanghai.

Chinese website Sohu.com reported earlier today that more than 240,000 Chinese netizens supported Obama, with only 90,000 backing McCain.

And a little reaction from Beijing:

"Congratulations on Obama's successful run for president!! I have been constantly amazed as I follow the elections along the way. What an achievement it truly is... no doubt he'll help restore America's image around the world.

At the same time I can't stop comparing. I can't envision a ethnic Tibetan, Uygur, Hui, or Mogol [sic] gets elected President of China, not in 60 years... that's how far apart the two countries are, in terms of maturity in political institutions."

-a local colleague of the writer of The Opposite End of China

"The crowd erupted in applause as Obama was declared the victor. Many Chinese - especially young students - waved Obama signs as state after state went his way."

-The Wall Street Journal

The Good Life...

Kanye hit Shanghai last night, and guess who won ticket? Yup, that's right, me. And yes, I won ticket, not tickets (it was a dumb contest, but whatever, free is free). Anyways, the ticket got me second row seats behind the floor...until I hopped a fence and went right up to the stage.

The rest of my crew was way, way up in the rafters (suckers). Lotsa room to dance up there though; the place wasn't nearly full. None of my Chinese friends were even remotely excited for this show.

Kanye played most of Graduation, mixing it in with some older stuff (Get 'Em High, Hey Mama, All Falls Down) and a verse of his new one (Love Lockdown). The band even randomly threw in Don't Stop Believing while Kanye took a quick breather. Stronger and Good Life were the best tracks of the night though.

So yeah, pretty hard not to have a good time with a view like that, but the whole experience was, for lack of a better word, a little Chinese. It's hard for a lot of big names to make it over because of invisible government rules and whatnot (just ask Bjork), so when they do show up, they're playing by the house rules. In Kanye's case, that meant no swearing, one single (hilariously bad) opening act, and showing up on time for his set (dunno about you, but it's kinda weird when the headliner gets going by 9pm).

All in all though, not a night I'm going to forget anytime soon.

Bonus Mao Mix fact: Kanye lived in Nanjing for a year with his Mom when he was 10.

Asia League Ice Hockey

Following up on my last post on the Sharks, I wanted to get a little more into the (extremely awkwardly-named) league they play in, Asia League Ice Hockey. You can find pro hockey all over the world now, but this has gotta be one of the more unique situations. The league was formed as an expansion of the Japan Ice Hockey League in 2003, and four of the seven current teams are still Japanese (the Sharks are Chinese and the remaining two teams hail from South Korea). It's been a turbulent 5 years for the league though, as the Russian team from Alex Mogilny's hometown of Khabarovsk* and three Beijing-based teams have already folded. The current edition of the China Sharks was just created this year as a merger between two of the defunct Beijing teams.

The Sharks, incidentally, are co-sponsored by the San Jose Sharks and the Chinese National Team. Nine of the Sharks also play for Team China, and goalie Wade Flaherty will be pulling double duty as a goalie coach during international competitions. The Sharks' GM is a San Jose employee who, as far as I can tell, lives primarily back in the US.

Most of the ALIH rules are adopted from the NHL (including 4-on-4 OTs and shootouts), though they did opt for no-touch icing and a 3-2-1-0 W-OTW-OTL-L point system. It seems to me that the rinks are a little bigger than the NHL standard, though I'm not completely sure on that. The regular season lasts 36 games, and is split up into three-game series played on weekends. Five of the seven teams make the playoffs, with the regular season champion gettting a bye all the way through to the best-of-seven finals.

In terms of team makeup, the Japanese clubs are capped at two import players each, but the Korean and Chinese squads are allowed to have four, presumably because they're weaker. And, as an added bonus for perenially sucking, the Sharks will be allowed to bring in up to seven foreigners during the 2009-2010 season. It seems to me that these import restrictions are a newer development though, since the now-defunct Nordic Vikings were chock full of Scandinavians as recently as 2005-06 (their only season).

I'll have to watch a few more games before I can really get into the style of play and all that, but something I'm definitely going to keep an eye on is the cultural dynamics that come into play in an Asian-dominated hockey league. As Dave King, a longtme NHL coach, said when he took over the GM post for Team Japan,

"The Japanese have a system in their culture where they respect the older people [and] it's the same in sports. The older athlete is a sempei, a younger player is a kohai. The kohai player would never embarrass a sempei player in practice, like in a one-on-one drill. Also, in a game, there's a tendency to give the puck to the oldest guy on the line. Again, it's that he should shoot, because it's a respect thing. This doesn't really work."

And as former NHL goalie Jamie McLennan reported during his time in Japan,

When I allowed a soft goal, the home crowd started chanting my name and cheering me. This was foreign territory for me - not surrendering a crappy goal, those happen to everyone - but the reaction of the fans.

Anyways, if I was a former-NHLer winding down my career or even just an ECHLer, I'd love to come out and play here. The list of NHL alums isn't long, but there are definitely a few recognizable names. Hall of Famer Esa Tikkanen came and played/coached in Korea for a while, Shjon Podein played in Japan, Tyson Nash and Jamie McLennan spent half a season with the Nippon Paper Cranes, and Steve McKenna, former bodyguard for both Gretzky and Lemieux (and veteran of both the Italian, British and Australian leagues as well), is currently in his second year here. Other notables include Martin Kariya, Paul's little brother, and Chris Allen, veteran of two NHL games and reigning winner of the PETA Sexiest Vegetarian Next Door Contest.

Going the other way, the AHIL's had its first alumnus make it to the NHL in 2006 when Yutaka Fukufuji played in four games for the LA Kings. Fukufuji's also the first Japanese-born player to ever play in the NHL.

* Seems to be as good a time as any to mention that Khabarovsk is only 20km from China. So if Mogilny had been born 21km south , it's conceivable that he would never have even played hockey.

Hockey Night in China

With the NHL season now fully underway, I've started to really miss hockey. So I grabbed some friends headed out last night to see the China Sharks, Shanghai's entry in the Asia League of Ice Hockey. It's not anywhere near the NHL (or the AHL, or the ECHL, or even Major Junior) in terms of the level of play, but hey, when you're desperate, you'll take what you can get.

We got there a little late, but the place was already pretty lively by the time we arrived. The arena wasn't anywhere near full (and they were giving away tons of free tickets last week), but people were loud, they cheered in (mostly) the right spots, and everyone seemed to be having a good time. On the downside, only the top half of the arena was open, preventing fans from really getting intimate with the game. It's much easier to fall in love with hockey rinkside than 20 rows up.

Anyways, the game itself was pretty entertaining. The Sharks never led but ended up tying the game at 2 with 19 seconds left, forcing OT and eventually winning on Steve McKenna's shootout winner. Shark captain Adam Taylor scored a nice goal, Harvard alum Kevin Du showed some nice hands, and goalie Wade Flaherty made a couple key saves. On the downside, play was pretty sloppy overall (owing partly to some horrible ice), and a bunch of the scoring chances were the simply result of one guy bobbling the puck past three defenders and shoveling the puck on net. Oh, and not surprisingly, it wasn't a particularly physical game either.

Other quirks:

• The Sharks only dressed 16 or so players. High 1 had at least 18 or 19. (NHL teams dress 20.)
• They ran some go-go dancers cheerleaders out during the 1st intermission.
  
• The rink was so warm that they had the players just skate around for a couple minutes at the beginning of each period to let the ice harden up. We literally had to sit there just watching the ice freeze.
• High 1 (a Korean team) had a Japanese player with dreadlocks (seriously).
  

In the end, I think everyone left the rink pretty happy. The Sharks are still going through some growing pains both in the standings (they're dead last) and in the fan experience category (note to the team: neither the arena nor the beer should be at normal room temperature), but I'll probably be back whenever I'm jonesing for some more hockey.

Crazy Chinese Sex Pills

ILLEGAL sex enhancement pills have killed six more men here in the past five months, bringing the drug's death toll to 10 this year.

The six men, aged between 35 and 84, were comatose when they died from complications such as infections and major organ failure.

Four other men died in a similar way in April and May.

-from the Straits Times

They're always selling this stuff on the streets here, and there are always old creepy guys checking it out. Though it's shocking (shocking!) to me that they're not the real deal.

Chinese Journalists: Keepin' it Real

China has started to probe dozens of self-claimed "journalists" who asked for hush money from a colliery after an accident [at Huobaoganhe coal mine] which killed one miner, an official with north China's Shanxi Province said yesterday...

The colliery paid a total of 125,000 RMB ($18,255 USD) in six deals with self-claimed journalists within one month after the accident, in exchange for not publicizing the death report.

Investigation is continuing into a further five deals.

-from the Shanghai Daily

Wish I'd thought of that.

The Thing About the Chinese...

...is that their condoms are solider than yours.

The Thing About the Chinese...

...is that they share their video games.

Mao Lives On

What is your definition of an "authentic" photo?
An authentic photo is one that reflects the person accurately...Technically, film cannot capture an image 100 percent accurately...Chairman Mao holds a special place in Chinese people's hearts. We must protect his glorious image, so a photo showing him old and tired is not authentic. Nor are photos showing him with black teeth. He was so busy, where could he find time to brush his teeth? Only by making his teeth white would the photo be an authentic reflection of Chariman Mao.

That was taken from a South China Morning Post (a HK paper) interview with Chen Shilin, a photograph retouching specialist who worked for China during the Mao/Cultural Revolution years and eventually became head of photo-processing at Xinhua, China's largest news agency. His Mao works include the 100RMB note and that big portrait at the Forbidden City.

Personally, I always just assumed Mao had a grill full of gold teeth. Guess I was wrong.

Cell Phone Shenanigans

In China, you can get a 50MB internet plan each month for Y20 ($3CDN) and you don't even need a contract. In Canada, they're going to start charging you for incoming text messages.

If you're wondering, text messages here cost Y0.10 (1.6 cents) each; calls are Y0.70 (11 cents) a minute.  That's why you see fifty old women texting on the subway everyday.

I am the Famous Wang Hao!

First it was the badminton bad boy Dan Lin and his antics. Now Wang Hao, "a marquee player in China's premier table tennis league" and Olympic gold medallist, is getting in trouble. Wang was caught peeing outside a kareoke bar and tried to fight security when they apprehended him. A witness caught him shouting, "I am the famous Wang Hao! I am the world champion! Does it matter if I beat you?"

The Chinese national ping pong team has sent him in for counselling.

Two other things about this story that make me giggle uncontrollably:

• Hao is a synonym for 'good' in Chinese. Wang Hao. Get it? It works on so many levels.
• News reports with headlines like China's Wang to get Help After Karaoke Bar Brawl

Smog Report

Much better today.

It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighbourhood...

...or not. Today's one of the smoggiest days I've seen.  That highway is a 7 minute walk from my house.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE WORDS THAT ARE COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH?

Chinese is a really, really old language, and it's not especially flexible since it uses a (relatively) fixed number of characters. Some words from a long while ago are still in use, while other stuff has been chopped and changed over time. A small sample:

马上: soon | literally, (as soon as I get) on a horse
熊猫: panda | literally, bear-cat
电脑: computer | literally, electronic brain
上网: log-on (to the internet) | literally, to get up onto a web
大转: left turn (slang) | literally, big turn (works if you're in a car)
小转: right turn (slang) | literally, right turn

北京: Beijing | literally, "Northern Capital"
南京: Nanjing | literally, "Eastern Capital"
上海: Shanghai | literally, "On the Sea"

I just learned a good Tibetan word in Sichuan too: tashi dele, which literally means congratulations. But people use as hello, goodbye, thanks, you're welcome, whatever.

Will post on my trip in the next few days.

Scenic China

China's National Day is October 1st, so everyone gets some time off. (Exactly how much time depends on your situation; some people have an entire week off while others have Wed-Sun off. Though if you get the full week off you're probably working this weekend to make up for it. Just how it works here.) Pretty much everyone travels during this time, either to go home or just somewhere new. I'm told it's super hectic pretty much anywhere you end up.

Anyways, was checking out places to go, and read up on Nanjing since it's close-ish to Shanghai. Taken directly from my guidebook:

"The other sight by Gulou is the Dazhong Ting (Great Bell Pavilion), immediately northeast of the junction behind the China Telecom building, sitting on a well-kept garden and also home to a pleasant teahouse. Enter just south of the McDonald's."

How romantic. That passage just got Nanjing booted out of my plans. Think I'm going to head to Guilin/Yangshou (Li River) or Sichuan (Pandas). Inner Mongolia's a dark horse in the race too.

Update: If anyone cares, I decided to go to Sichuan.  Leaving Friday night, back on Thursday. 

Chinese Matchmaking

With 1.3 billion people in China, it really shouldn't be hard to find a date, right? Well apparently not. The matchmaking industry here is already bigger than the States', and there are over 20,000 dating companies registered in China, not including "family-run" dating services...

The social dynamics in Chinese households are a little different than in the Western world (i.e. Chinese people tend to be way more socially awkward), so not surprisingly, online matchmaking is hugely popular. One of the girls I play disc with has one of the top 10 most viewed dating profiles in town, and seems pretty damn proud of it.

Anyways, the larger point is: Chinese people are turning to the internet to find their soulmates, and a) they're not shy about it, and b) that doesn't necessarily make them desperate. Just check this post out. (Double eyelids, apparently, are no less popular online than they are in plastic surgery rooms.)

Update: The Shanghai Daily has a story out today detailing some of the shenanigans that these matchmaking companies get up to. Honesty is not their best policy, apparently.

The Thing About the Chinese...

...is that they're fine with ripping off others' ideas (have we covered this yet?).  What normally happens is that they'll just rip off someone else's idea, pump more money into marketing (since they're saving on R&D costs anyways) and try to trump the original.  So needless to say, mergers and acquisitions aren't nearly as popular here as they are in the West.  It's a business model that has really grown legs with the advent of the internet. 

That oh so familiar homepage above is for xiaonei.com, a Facebook ripoff competitor.  Apparently the Chinese version of hotornot.com (remember that?) is hugely popular too, though I can't seem to find the link right now. 

The Thing About the Chinese...

 

...is that they make lots of fake stuff.  Including cars.  This is a Toyota Echo Xiali 2000.  A company called BYD also makes a Civic (yes, of course they ripped off the Civic) lookalike.

In all seriousness though, China's come a long way in auto manufacturing.  It's worked closely with Toyota on hybrids in recent years, and now First Auto Works (FAW) has a factory in Mexico and is selling a pretty popular small car there.  Watch out, GM.

Ballin' in China

Whether you follow basketball fan or not, it was hard not to hear about the American "Redeem Team" winning gold at the Olympics. Put together to reclaim the States' lost dominance over the basketball world, it featured some of the world's most famous players and didn't lose a game the entire tournament. In fact, they played so well that some idiots intrepid reporters have argued that they're better than the original Dream Team from 1992. Yeah, the one that featured Jordan, Bird, Magic, Barkley, Stockton...do I have to keep going?

Anyways, the way I see it, performance aside, the big difference between the two lies in that the Dream Team clearly went to promote the game (and it worked, just look at how far basketball's come since), while the Redeem Team came more to promote the NBA and themselves. Yeah, it's nice and good to say you came to reclaim basketball glory, avenge past losses, etc.. but just look at what's come out in the half-month since the end of the tournament:

• Jason Kidd, the team's starting point guard, just ditched Nike to sign with Chinese sneaker PEAK (also Shane Battier's sponsor).
• Baron Davis, the newest NBA star to hit LA, similarly ditched RBK for Li-Ning. By my count, 8 NBA players now wear Chinese sneakers.
• The NBA's announced plans to play another round of exhibition games in China.
• The NBA's signed a sponsorship deal with Tsingtao, China's biggest beer manufacturer.
  

And in related news, the LA Lakers also signed Chinese guard Sun Yue (I'm not sure what shoes he wears.) China's the next great frontier for the NBA, and the league knows it.

Oh, and by the way, know how everyone hates Kobe in North America? He could probably care less. One of the best things about coming to China is that you've got a fresh marketing start. Kobe's got his own TV show here, Kobe's Disciples, and the top selling NBA jersey (ahead of both Yao and Yi).

The Thing About the Chinese...

"A group of animal lovers became embroiled in a bizarre confrontation as its members rescued more than 800 cats destined for the dinner table over the weekend.

Six volunteers from the Shanghai Animal Protection Association confronted cat dealers in Jiaxing, Zhejiang Province, and spent a day and a night trying to rescue about 1,500 cats."

-Shanghai Daily, Sept 3

...is that they have a saying: 'we'll eat anything with four legs except the table'.

If you've been to China before, this shouldn't surprise you.  I mean, I see people selling puppies at every Metro station.  But somehow, there aren't that many dogs around...

Child's Play: Malafi Photo Initiative

Been a little slow with the posts lately, but am working on a couple different things that'll hopefully get put up soon.  Might have a couple two-parters on the way; not yet sure how I'm going to tackle what I got in mind.

In the meantime though, I've been getting involved with/helping to promote something called the Malafi Photo Initiative, and I've just posted about it at Shanghaiist.com, where I'm working now.  Basically, a couple friends of friends went into rural Sichuan (where the earthquake was) and armed a bunch of kids with reloadable cameras (the old-school kind).  Together with the kids, they put together an exhibition on village life in the area, and are now putting on an exhibition called "Through Yi Eyes".  All the money from any prints sold there will go back to orphans in Sichuan, where it will help pay for schooling an other basic necessities.

It's really a great cause, so check it out online at malafi.org.  And in case you're wondering, it costs only 500RMB (about $78) to support a child for a year.  Makes you question whether you really need that new pair of shoes, doesn't it?

Herro?

But "dou" is quicksand for the beginner [Cantonese speaker]. Depending where you place it and how you pitch it, it can mean here, there, where, more, how much, to, from, able to accomplish, able to reach, everybody, and also. It can also mean gamble and knife. Really, in Cantonese the dou is out of hand.

-Daisann McLane, Slate Magazine

Learning a new language can be a tricky thing. Sometimes it comes and sometimes it stalls. Like today, when I was flipping channels and stopped on a soap opera because for whatever reason I understood everything everyone was saying. Then I changed channels and was lost again. It's something that just takes time, I guess.

My native tongue is Cantonese (though I've let that slip), but I came to China with only some basic knowledge of Mandarin. And yeah, both those things help, but maybe not as much as some friends back home think. Cantonese, for example, has 8 different tones; Mandarin has "only" 5. The extra tones serve to make Cantonese "choppier"; people tend not to slur their words since more precision is needed. So I've been making the transition, but I'm still at the point where I can understand more than I can speak. (And to add to my struggles, I'm now learning words in Mandarin that I never knew in Cantonese. Very confusing sometimes.)

For the record, there is no universal "Chinese" language; there are only a countless number of local dialects (like it is in India). Cantonese is most popular in the southern province of Guangdong (i.e. Canton) and Hong Kong, Shanghainese is only spoken in Shanghai, Xi'an-nese is popular around Xi'an, and so on. Mandarin became the default dialect only because the government decided it would be (probably because it's the native tongue of Beijingers). In 1955, the government even renamed Mandarin putonghua, literally the "normal language". Now pretty much everyone speaks it because they had to take it in school.

A couple related notes:

• If you're wondering why, if Mandarin is the dominant language, that there seem to be a disproportionate majority of Cantonese speakers in your Chinatown, it's because a vast majority of Chinese emigres used to come from Hong Kong. That's also why the West used to know the Chinese capital as Peking (the Cantonese pronunciation) instead of the now-standard Beijing (the putonghua pronunciation).
  

• For what it's worth, ketchup/catsup is a Cantonese word too (literally, tomato juice).  That's why nobody can quite figure out how to spell it.
  

• Xi'an is not the same as xian. The apostrophes are used to split words up: xi is "west", and an is "peace". Together, they're the name of that city where the terracotta warriors were found. Xian (one word) could mean a few different things, like "first" or "fresh".

The Thing About the Chinese...

...is that they're more wired than you.  And it'll be like that for the next few years. 

Picture taken in Hong Kong.

The Thing About the Chinese...

...is that all you whities look the same to us.

Barbershop Reality Check

Went to get a haircut last night, and ended up getting talked into getting a massage too (not that kind of massage).  Barbershops in China are often like mini-spas; they have massage rooms in the back and you can get your nails and all that done too.  Anyways, the whole thing really made me realize just what a fortunate situation I'm in here as a foreigner.

First of all, a haircut there (with a wash and rinse) costs Y15.  That's like $2.50 back home.  And that's already more than some people are willing to pay, since a haircut at home is free (the Chinese are really cheap).  Y5 extra gets you a 10 minute shoulder/arm/back massage in the barber's chair.  The full-body massage I got was Y48, so just more than $7.  And that's really luxury treatment.  Most locals don't ever get the chance to get one.

During the massage, I got to talking to my masseuse, and man do I have it good.  My masseuse was 24, and had already been working for 4-5 years at various barbershops.  She actually moved in from a smaller town 3-4 hours outside Shanghai to look for work.  Turns out she lives in the same apartment complex (across from the barbershop) as I do, which surprised me since my spot (a 3-bedroomer loaned to me by a family friend) is pretty nice.  How does that work?  Well, it works if you share the flat with 9 other girls.  I didn't ask how much she made, but suffice to say it's probably not a whole lot.  She works 12-13 hours a day, 6 days a week.

Still, bar servers might have it worse.  A friend here used to work at a bar (for Y50 a night), and he said that the girls working there made Y35 (no tips) for an 8-10 hour shift.  A pint there costs Y40.

Update: A brave American blogger spent a month working at a local barbershop just to see what it'd be like; he wrote about it here.

Final Thoughts

So the Beijing Olympics are finally now done and over with, and at least in my eyes, they were a great success (is it just me, or can I not see those words now without thinking of Borat?).  From all accounts, everything was extremely well-organized, and I think most people there had a great time, despite the string of mini-controversies that followed the event.
 
Seems to me that's the general feeling around here too, from talking to friends and locals.  Though, to be fair, they have a pretty biased view of the event; questions about the gymnasts' age, for example, were often dismissed offhand when I explained the situation (the papers haven't said a word about it here).

I've probably said enough about the media coverage already, but one thing I did find lacking was insight into what the locals thought.  What do people here think about all the controversies?  About all the stuff (human rights, pollution, etc...) that China was coming under fire for?  The media has a great effect on what the public at home think about the Games,and I think adding that element would've helped those abroad better get a feel for the vibe in China.  Tourists/expats generally live apart from the locals, and I understand language is an issue, but there are literally a billion people they could've talked to. 

Geoffrey York of the Globe and Mail did an excellent job in this respect.  He watched the Opening Ceremonies with a middle-class family, and got in with some Chinese to see how they sacrificed personally for the Games (and how the felt about it).

And by the way, someone poke Jacques Rogge to see if he's is still alive.  I'm pretty sure he went through the entire Games with this look on his face the whole time.

The Final Say

A good collection of Olympic "Report Cards" just went up on Shangahiist.com today.  Link here.

A lot of "the Olympics were great, but..." articles.  By and large, though, I'd say the Games went off pretty well.

Expat Pride

Did you hear about those Americans who flew into Beijing wearing breathing masks? China should respect their human rights and buy them tickets to go straight home. If you want to protest, go back to the US!

-My Dad

One of the things I noticed going home is that there's a lot of pride in the Chinese expat community in these Olympics. Sometimes overly so, like when my Dad says stuff like that. (Clearly, there were concerns about the pollution in Beijing, and if you've been training your whole life for something, I can see why you'd want to do everything to protect your chances of winning. And anyways, how does wearing a mask have anything to do with protests or human rights?)

Must be frustrating at times to be a Chinese expat though. You're constantly getting the Western spin on things going on at home, which, to put it lightly, isn't always fair. Especially if you were raised to see it from the other side.

Closing Up Shop

A rundown of news and notes as the Olympics wrap up, Sweet 'n Sour style:

Sweet: Gracious winners. Matthias Steiner, newly crowned world's strongest man, dedicates his victory to his recently deceased wife, choking back tears on the podium while holding her picture.
Sour: Sore losers. Cuban taekwando'er gets DQ'ed, kicks ref in face.

Sweet: Clear skies in Beijing. I really thought pollution would be a problem.
Sour: In retrospect, these guys look kind of stupid. I don't blame them though.

Sweet: China dominates gold medal count. Mass executions of disgraced Olympians canceled.
Sour: Chinese gymnastics scandal. "Chinese people are just smaller" doesn't quite hold up. And confessions of similar foibles at the 2000 Games don't help either.
Also sour: Bitching from Americans, especially when the gymnasts themselves are gracious in accepting the situation. Props to this reporter for making light of the situation. And by the way, if we're going to strip people of medals on circumstantial info, let's go back and take the 2000 baseball gold away from the Americans (since one of their top pitchers later got caught using steroids).

Sweet: Beijing set up sanctioned protest zones.
Sour: All applications to protest were rejected. Journalists were hassled for covering any protests that did happen. Multiple protesters detained and released without good cause.
Uber Sour: Two 70-year old elderly women who felt inadequately compensated for having their homes seized and redeveloped were sent to "re-education" camps after simply applying to protest in a protest zone.

Sweet: Beijing, by all accounts, has been a great Olympic host. China's small huge army of volunteers (half a million of them!) have been great, and the people themselves have been accommodating. No surprise for anyone who's ever visited China.
Sour: "Incidents" (1 and 2) in Western China. Frankly, I expected worse. Maybe this deserves to be in the Sweet category.

Sweet: Fantastic facilities, the Water Cube and Bird's Nest in particular.
Sour: The Coca-Cola National Stadium of China?

Sweet: Sex and the Olympic Village. Even if you don't medal, getting laid ain't a bad consolation prize.
Sour: No sour. Though I loved that this article, by the Bangkok Post, of all papers, interviewed a female athlete by the name of Sluitjier. And yes, actually, I have graduated from university. Why do you ask?

The Thing About the Chinese...

...is that their food cooks itself now.

Bible Bind

A group of American Christians who had more than 300 Bibles confiscated by Chinese customs officials left the airport Monday after a 26-hour standoff, saying they realized officials would not change their stance.

-AP

That doesn't make China look so hot.  To be fair though, I went through that same airport in May, and had a travel book snatched from my bag after a post-arrival bag scan (unheard of elsewhere, but somewhat standard in China).  The reason?  The map inside had Taiwan coloured white.  The rest of China was blue.

I eventually negotiated to pick the book up upon my exit, but maybe that's easier if you speak Chinese/look Chinese.  And when I did get by book back, they made sure to escort me directly to my departure gate.  It wouldn't do to give me the chance to spread my politically sensitive materials outside the airport, now would it?

Criticism and Cultural Gaps

So are the media just being a little mean to China? It does at times feel akin to if coverage of the Atlanta Olympics were focused on the failings of the U.S. health care system and the plight of the American Indian. One foreign correspondent for a major American newspaper agreed, telling me, "In Athens the traffic jams were presented as the outgrowth of a hip Mediterranean lifestyle. Here they become yet another product of state repression."...

If you've ever done business in China, you know what fangwen (an "official visit") is all about—a kind of formal tour that is meant to show how great the host's facility is, while the guest says admiring things. China was hoping the Olympics would be a nationwide version of fangwen. Instead, it is mostly getting fangs...

China's idea of what makes for a better Olympics for foreign consumption—tightened security and cleaning up marginal elements—is exactly what makes Western reporters crazy. If you're showing off for the fangwen, you want to clean things up, but the West wants to see the dirt, not the rug it was swept under. It's the dishonesty, as much as the substance of what's wrong in China, that seems to get under the skin of Western reporters.

-Tim Wu, from Slate.com

Really, really good article on Slate dealing with the criticism China's received during the Olympics and the cultural differences that are playing into it.

Blot-ing Begrudingly

But one afternoon two years later, [Bolt] ran too fast at a school field day and found himself on the track team, because Jamaica will compel a sprinter to sprint.

-CNNSI.com

Apparently China's not the only one that forces athletes to compete.

Life of Reilly

Rick Reilly (formerly of Sports Illustrated, now of ESPN) is one of the most popular and respected sports journalists in America. He's done well for himself writing mostly puff pieces, and last month's article about Charles Barley's horrendous golf swing is pretty indicative of what he usually puts out.

That's why his latest piece surprised me.

He pretty much takes China apart, calling the Olympics the "Fauxlympics" and listing off the many reasons why he thinks the Games have been a farce. And don't get me wrong, China has handled some things poorly during these last couple weeks, but I think in general, it's gone pretty well. So I have some real problems with this article.

Firstly, he frames the piece by describing a building under construction in downtown Beijing that has been made to look finished through the use of tarps and computer projectors. It's apparently a microcosm of all the Olympic fakery that's been going on. What he fails to mention is that this is done in Europe all the time. I took this picture in London two years ago, and I took it because I was amused by it, not appalled. He's making this fake building thing into an issue when it really has nothing to do with anything (and especially not the Olympics).

He also ends it by casting a negative light on the cloud seeding China did to ensure clear skies for the Games (it's really worked, by the way). But it's not like China's the first one to do something like that. Russia, for example, seeded clouds to clear away the rain during the 2006 G8 summit. (It didn't work, but at least it ended better than that other time they tried it.)

The stuff in the middle is mostly accurate, but a lot of it's been slanted in a very non-flattering way. Yes, there are empty seats at the events, and "volunteer fans" are being used to fill them. But those seats were legitimately sold/given to sponsors; how would you solve that problem? Yes, China used CGI to spruce up the Opening Ceremonies. But what's the harm in that? The world wanted to see a show, and it got one. And yes, I can see how the Great Firewall adds to the "fakery" going on. But if you're going to rip the government for it, rip it for keeping it up during the Olympics, and not for putting it up in the first place. Internet censorship is just a part of life here, and that issue goes way above and beyond the scope of your article.

What's frustrating about this article is not its factual inaccuracy. It's that Reilly makes no effort to see the issue from the other side. These Games are really, really important to China. And though that doesn't justify all of what's happened, it does explain it a little. Given the huge cultural difference between the East and West, isn't it possible that some of China's try-hardness has just come off the wrong way?

Is Argentina in Spain?

Sure looks like it (but don't take my word, I can barely see out of my slanty eyes).

Picture from Aug. 5th issue of Argentinian magazine Ole.

Update: Great article from ESPN about the culture of political incorrectness in Spain. Good to see the other side of the issue. The thing is, after getting burned for being "racist" so many times by the international community, shouldn't you learn? Especially if you're bidding for the 2016 Games?

Faster, Higher, Stronger, Prettier

I was just reading the Vancouver Province from yesterday, and amazingly, there were three (that I saw) mentions of the girl who got replaced in the Opening Ceremonies by a lip-syncing counterpart with a prettier face.  Seriously, is this such a big deal?  That's news from five full days ago (what a horribly biased headline, by the way..."banned" is much too strong a word).

I haven't asked anyone here yet, but I get the feeling this really isn't that big a deal to the locals.  Again, it goes back to the population problem: with so many people in the country, everyone's replaceable.  So, what the Communist government gives, it can also easily take away.  People know that, and as long as they're not too put out by it, and it seems to be for the common good (the Olympics clearly qualify) they're fine with it.  I'm not saying it's right, but that's just the way it is.  This kind of mentality is so ingrained in the Chinese culture that officials didn't even see a reason to lie about it.

“The reason why little Peiyi was not chosen to appear was because we wanted to project the right image. The reason was for the national interest."

-Chen Qigang, composer and music director for the Opening Ceremonies

Internet posters seem to feel for the girl that got replaced, but nobody seems too worked up about it.  Even the guy who pushes for an apology seems to be doing it more to sate the international community than the girl who got shafted.

And don't give me crap about the girl's self-esteem.  The Chinese have very little regard for wishy-washy feelings like that.  Either you make it or you don't in a country of 1.3 billion.  Live with it.

Office Olympics

Gotta love Dwight.

Sweet Georgia!

Is it just me, or does the international outcry against Russia's invasion of South Ossetia seem kind of muted?  I mean, Russia is essentially just flexing its muscles, saying "dibs" and taking over.  I understand that the Olympics are going to dominate the news, but given how much grief China's gotten in the 50 years since it moved into Tibet, shouldn't we be hearing a lot more from outraged politicians, celebrities and activist groups?  Imagine what it'd be like if China tried to annex northern Thailand or something.

Oh yeah, Russia's now threatening to launch a nuclear attack on Poland too.

Liu Xiang Limps Off

Liu Xiang, defending Olympic champion and former world record holder in the 110m hurdles, pulled up lame after a false start in the first round, disqualifying himself from contention early in the competition.  Doesn't sound like a big deal to us in the Western world, but Liu Xiang was the Chinese star in these Olympics, the Michael Phelps of the host nation.  The loss was taken so hard that many fans (and even Liu's coach) cried when it happened.

China isn't very strong in any of the track events, and this was their one chance to show their superiority in a (somewhat) marquee event.  A couple more in-depth takes on this at ESPN and NYT.

Badass-minton

China's Lin Dan is widely recognized as the Tiger Woods/Michael Jordan/Michael Phelps/etc... of badminton right now (sure, it's kind of like being the world's fastest tricyclist, but it's still a big deal in China), and he finally won his first Olympic gold on Sunday.

Why you should care about him:

1. He's also dating the world's #1 ranked female player.
2. He once threatened to bludgeon a South Korean coach with his racket.
3. He once punched his own coach during Olympic training.

He'd be a rockstar athlete if he was playing any other sport.

Update: After winning, Dan had this to say: "The gold medal has confirmed the fact that I am an outstanding sportsman."  

Phelps' Phinish

So apparently FINA, the governing body of swimming, is refusing to release the pictures that conclusively show Phelps' 0.01 second margin of victory in the 100m butterfly. Fortunately for us, we live in the 21st century, where we can use computers to break down video. CNNSI has the photo evidence here.

Gaokao: Part III

Sure, it's easiest just to score high on the gaokao and get into your university of choice, but there are more exciting ways as well.  Last Sunday, 500 students tried to get into Shanghai Normal University's School of Mathematics and Science using admission notices they'd received in the mail.  Turns out, the school doesn't even send out admission notices.  Nice try.

The Olympics So Far...

Been doing my best to follow the Olympics from Canada...lots going on obviously, but here are the top 8 stories in my view:

1. Parts of the Opening Ceremonies were faked. Fireworks were drawn in with CGI, and they had a cute girl lip synch for an uglier one (who had a better voice). If it wasn't obvious before, there's a lot on the line here for China.
2. Michael Phelps is dominating. So much so that a Chinese blog removed a "How Many Medals Will Phelps Win?" post. We all know he's only winning cause he's a horrible cheater though.
3. Pollution. Not so much a story so far.
4. China's cheating (told ya so). It's been using underage gymnasts (the minimum age limit is 16). Can't defend it, but I guess if you can get away with it, why not. What's rarely mentioned in Western articles is that this is pretty common practice in sports, especially baseball (though to be fair, there's much less on the line there).
5. The Spanish are racist. Parts 1 (the basketball team) and 2 (the womens tennis team). Jose Calderon, a Spanish player who plays professionally in Toronto, a city with one of the largest Asian expat populations, defends his team by saying, "We thought it was something appropriate and that it would always be interpreted as somewhat loving." He goes on to say anyone thinking anything differently is "confused", and, of course, that "some of my best friends in Toronto are from China".
6. China is raking in the gold. It's got 27 golds to US's 16 (thanks in large part to Phelps), though it trails in total medals 48-54.
7. More trouble in Xinjiang. A bus "accident" killed 30 three days ago. Needless to say, probably not an accident. And probably not the last attempt for attention either (though I hope it is).
   
8. And finally, the 21 Edicts from the Government's Propoganda Unit. Wonder how they got this. Also means things like this get no coverage at all in China.
   

Fun links, on the day that Canada finally passes Tajikistan in the medal count:

• Phelps eats a lot. Journalist tries to do same, fails.
• Journalist eats assorted animal penises to get a taste for the local culture.
• Bad Olympic jokes.
• Chinese rower misses race, dq's himself from 2 shots at medals.
  
• The Olympic Blue Screen of Death
• A horrific (I'm really not kidding) weightlifting accident.