Herro?

But "dou" is quicksand for the beginner [Cantonese speaker]. Depending where you place it and how you pitch it, it can mean here, there, where, more, how much, to, from, able to accomplish, able to reach, everybody, and also. It can also mean gamble and knife. Really, in Cantonese the dou is out of hand.

-Daisann McLane, Slate Magazine

Learning a new language can be a tricky thing. Sometimes it comes and sometimes it stalls. Like today, when I was flipping channels and stopped on a soap opera because for whatever reason I understood everything everyone was saying. Then I changed channels and was lost again. It's something that just takes time, I guess.

My native tongue is Cantonese (though I've let that slip), but I came to China with only some basic knowledge of Mandarin. And yeah, both those things help, but maybe not as much as some friends back home think. Cantonese, for example, has 8 different tones; Mandarin has "only" 5. The extra tones serve to make Cantonese "choppier"; people tend not to slur their words since more precision is needed. So I've been making the transition, but I'm still at the point where I can understand more than I can speak. (And to add to my struggles, I'm now learning words in Mandarin that I never knew in Cantonese. Very confusing sometimes.)

For the record, there is no universal "Chinese" language; there are only a countless number of local dialects (like it is in India). Cantonese is most popular in the southern province of Guangdong (i.e. Canton) and Hong Kong, Shanghainese is only spoken in Shanghai, Xi'an-nese is popular around Xi'an, and so on. Mandarin became the default dialect only because the government decided it would be (probably because it's the native tongue of Beijingers). In 1955, the government even renamed Mandarin putonghua, literally the "normal language". Now pretty much everyone speaks it because they had to take it in school.

A couple related notes:

• If you're wondering why, if Mandarin is the dominant language, that there seem to be a disproportionate majority of Cantonese speakers in your Chinatown, it's because a vast majority of Chinese emigres used to come from Hong Kong. That's also why the West used to know the Chinese capital as Peking (the Cantonese pronunciation) instead of the now-standard Beijing (the putonghua pronunciation).
  

• For what it's worth, ketchup/catsup is a Cantonese word too (literally, tomato juice).  That's why nobody can quite figure out how to spell it.
  

• Xi'an is not the same as xian. The apostrophes are used to split words up: xi is "west", and an is "peace". Together, they're the name of that city where the terracotta warriors were found. Xian (one word) could mean a few different things, like "first" or "fresh".

The Thing About the Chinese...

...is that they're more wired than you.  And it'll be like that for the next few years. 

Picture taken in Hong Kong.

The Thing About the Chinese...

...is that all you whities look the same to us.

Barbershop Reality Check

Went to get a haircut last night, and ended up getting talked into getting a massage too (not that kind of massage).  Barbershops in China are often like mini-spas; they have massage rooms in the back and you can get your nails and all that done too.  Anyways, the whole thing really made me realize just what a fortunate situation I'm in here as a foreigner.

First of all, a haircut there (with a wash and rinse) costs Y15.  That's like $2.50 back home.  And that's already more than some people are willing to pay, since a haircut at home is free (the Chinese are really cheap).  Y5 extra gets you a 10 minute shoulder/arm/back massage in the barber's chair.  The full-body massage I got was Y48, so just more than $7.  And that's really luxury treatment.  Most locals don't ever get the chance to get one.

During the massage, I got to talking to my masseuse, and man do I have it good.  My masseuse was 24, and had already been working for 4-5 years at various barbershops.  She actually moved in from a smaller town 3-4 hours outside Shanghai to look for work.  Turns out she lives in the same apartment complex (across from the barbershop) as I do, which surprised me since my spot (a 3-bedroomer loaned to me by a family friend) is pretty nice.  How does that work?  Well, it works if you share the flat with 9 other girls.  I didn't ask how much she made, but suffice to say it's probably not a whole lot.  She works 12-13 hours a day, 6 days a week.

Still, bar servers might have it worse.  A friend here used to work at a bar (for Y50 a night), and he said that the girls working there made Y35 (no tips) for an 8-10 hour shift.  A pint there costs Y40.

Update: A brave American blogger spent a month working at a local barbershop just to see what it'd be like; he wrote about it here.

Final Thoughts

So the Beijing Olympics are finally now done and over with, and at least in my eyes, they were a great success (is it just me, or can I not see those words now without thinking of Borat?).  From all accounts, everything was extremely well-organized, and I think most people there had a great time, despite the string of mini-controversies that followed the event.
 
Seems to me that's the general feeling around here too, from talking to friends and locals.  Though, to be fair, they have a pretty biased view of the event; questions about the gymnasts' age, for example, were often dismissed offhand when I explained the situation (the papers haven't said a word about it here).

I've probably said enough about the media coverage already, but one thing I did find lacking was insight into what the locals thought.  What do people here think about all the controversies?  About all the stuff (human rights, pollution, etc...) that China was coming under fire for?  The media has a great effect on what the public at home think about the Games,and I think adding that element would've helped those abroad better get a feel for the vibe in China.  Tourists/expats generally live apart from the locals, and I understand language is an issue, but there are literally a billion people they could've talked to. 

Geoffrey York of the Globe and Mail did an excellent job in this respect.  He watched the Opening Ceremonies with a middle-class family, and got in with some Chinese to see how they sacrificed personally for the Games (and how the felt about it).

And by the way, someone poke Jacques Rogge to see if he's is still alive.  I'm pretty sure he went through the entire Games with this look on his face the whole time.

The Final Say

A good collection of Olympic "Report Cards" just went up on Shangahiist.com today.  Link here.

A lot of "the Olympics were great, but..." articles.  By and large, though, I'd say the Games went off pretty well.

Expat Pride

Did you hear about those Americans who flew into Beijing wearing breathing masks? China should respect their human rights and buy them tickets to go straight home. If you want to protest, go back to the US!

-My Dad

One of the things I noticed going home is that there's a lot of pride in the Chinese expat community in these Olympics. Sometimes overly so, like when my Dad says stuff like that. (Clearly, there were concerns about the pollution in Beijing, and if you've been training your whole life for something, I can see why you'd want to do everything to protect your chances of winning. And anyways, how does wearing a mask have anything to do with protests or human rights?)

Must be frustrating at times to be a Chinese expat though. You're constantly getting the Western spin on things going on at home, which, to put it lightly, isn't always fair. Especially if you were raised to see it from the other side.

Closing Up Shop

A rundown of news and notes as the Olympics wrap up, Sweet 'n Sour style:

Sweet: Gracious winners. Matthias Steiner, newly crowned world's strongest man, dedicates his victory to his recently deceased wife, choking back tears on the podium while holding her picture.
Sour: Sore losers. Cuban taekwando'er gets DQ'ed, kicks ref in face.

Sweet: Clear skies in Beijing. I really thought pollution would be a problem.
Sour: In retrospect, these guys look kind of stupid. I don't blame them though.

Sweet: China dominates gold medal count. Mass executions of disgraced Olympians canceled.
Sour: Chinese gymnastics scandal. "Chinese people are just smaller" doesn't quite hold up. And confessions of similar foibles at the 2000 Games don't help either.
Also sour: Bitching from Americans, especially when the gymnasts themselves are gracious in accepting the situation. Props to this reporter for making light of the situation. And by the way, if we're going to strip people of medals on circumstantial info, let's go back and take the 2000 baseball gold away from the Americans (since one of their top pitchers later got caught using steroids).

Sweet: Beijing set up sanctioned protest zones.
Sour: All applications to protest were rejected. Journalists were hassled for covering any protests that did happen. Multiple protesters detained and released without good cause.
Uber Sour: Two 70-year old elderly women who felt inadequately compensated for having their homes seized and redeveloped were sent to "re-education" camps after simply applying to protest in a protest zone.

Sweet: Beijing, by all accounts, has been a great Olympic host. China's small huge army of volunteers (half a million of them!) have been great, and the people themselves have been accommodating. No surprise for anyone who's ever visited China.
Sour: "Incidents" (1 and 2) in Western China. Frankly, I expected worse. Maybe this deserves to be in the Sweet category.

Sweet: Fantastic facilities, the Water Cube and Bird's Nest in particular.
Sour: The Coca-Cola National Stadium of China?

Sweet: Sex and the Olympic Village. Even if you don't medal, getting laid ain't a bad consolation prize.
Sour: No sour. Though I loved that this article, by the Bangkok Post, of all papers, interviewed a female athlete by the name of Sluitjier. And yes, actually, I have graduated from university. Why do you ask?

The Thing About the Chinese...

...is that their food cooks itself now.

Bible Bind

A group of American Christians who had more than 300 Bibles confiscated by Chinese customs officials left the airport Monday after a 26-hour standoff, saying they realized officials would not change their stance.

-AP

That doesn't make China look so hot.  To be fair though, I went through that same airport in May, and had a travel book snatched from my bag after a post-arrival bag scan (unheard of elsewhere, but somewhat standard in China).  The reason?  The map inside had Taiwan coloured white.  The rest of China was blue.

I eventually negotiated to pick the book up upon my exit, but maybe that's easier if you speak Chinese/look Chinese.  And when I did get by book back, they made sure to escort me directly to my departure gate.  It wouldn't do to give me the chance to spread my politically sensitive materials outside the airport, now would it?

Criticism and Cultural Gaps

So are the media just being a little mean to China? It does at times feel akin to if coverage of the Atlanta Olympics were focused on the failings of the U.S. health care system and the plight of the American Indian. One foreign correspondent for a major American newspaper agreed, telling me, "In Athens the traffic jams were presented as the outgrowth of a hip Mediterranean lifestyle. Here they become yet another product of state repression."...

If you've ever done business in China, you know what fangwen (an "official visit") is all about—a kind of formal tour that is meant to show how great the host's facility is, while the guest says admiring things. China was hoping the Olympics would be a nationwide version of fangwen. Instead, it is mostly getting fangs...

China's idea of what makes for a better Olympics for foreign consumption—tightened security and cleaning up marginal elements—is exactly what makes Western reporters crazy. If you're showing off for the fangwen, you want to clean things up, but the West wants to see the dirt, not the rug it was swept under. It's the dishonesty, as much as the substance of what's wrong in China, that seems to get under the skin of Western reporters.

-Tim Wu, from Slate.com

Really, really good article on Slate dealing with the criticism China's received during the Olympics and the cultural differences that are playing into it.

Blot-ing Begrudingly

But one afternoon two years later, [Bolt] ran too fast at a school field day and found himself on the track team, because Jamaica will compel a sprinter to sprint.

-CNNSI.com

Apparently China's not the only one that forces athletes to compete.

Life of Reilly

Rick Reilly (formerly of Sports Illustrated, now of ESPN) is one of the most popular and respected sports journalists in America. He's done well for himself writing mostly puff pieces, and last month's article about Charles Barley's horrendous golf swing is pretty indicative of what he usually puts out.

That's why his latest piece surprised me.

He pretty much takes China apart, calling the Olympics the "Fauxlympics" and listing off the many reasons why he thinks the Games have been a farce. And don't get me wrong, China has handled some things poorly during these last couple weeks, but I think in general, it's gone pretty well. So I have some real problems with this article.

Firstly, he frames the piece by describing a building under construction in downtown Beijing that has been made to look finished through the use of tarps and computer projectors. It's apparently a microcosm of all the Olympic fakery that's been going on. What he fails to mention is that this is done in Europe all the time. I took this picture in London two years ago, and I took it because I was amused by it, not appalled. He's making this fake building thing into an issue when it really has nothing to do with anything (and especially not the Olympics).

He also ends it by casting a negative light on the cloud seeding China did to ensure clear skies for the Games (it's really worked, by the way). But it's not like China's the first one to do something like that. Russia, for example, seeded clouds to clear away the rain during the 2006 G8 summit. (It didn't work, but at least it ended better than that other time they tried it.)

The stuff in the middle is mostly accurate, but a lot of it's been slanted in a very non-flattering way. Yes, there are empty seats at the events, and "volunteer fans" are being used to fill them. But those seats were legitimately sold/given to sponsors; how would you solve that problem? Yes, China used CGI to spruce up the Opening Ceremonies. But what's the harm in that? The world wanted to see a show, and it got one. And yes, I can see how the Great Firewall adds to the "fakery" going on. But if you're going to rip the government for it, rip it for keeping it up during the Olympics, and not for putting it up in the first place. Internet censorship is just a part of life here, and that issue goes way above and beyond the scope of your article.

What's frustrating about this article is not its factual inaccuracy. It's that Reilly makes no effort to see the issue from the other side. These Games are really, really important to China. And though that doesn't justify all of what's happened, it does explain it a little. Given the huge cultural difference between the East and West, isn't it possible that some of China's try-hardness has just come off the wrong way?

Is Argentina in Spain?

Sure looks like it (but don't take my word, I can barely see out of my slanty eyes).

Picture from Aug. 5th issue of Argentinian magazine Ole.

Update: Great article from ESPN about the culture of political incorrectness in Spain. Good to see the other side of the issue. The thing is, after getting burned for being "racist" so many times by the international community, shouldn't you learn? Especially if you're bidding for the 2016 Games?

Faster, Higher, Stronger, Prettier

I was just reading the Vancouver Province from yesterday, and amazingly, there were three (that I saw) mentions of the girl who got replaced in the Opening Ceremonies by a lip-syncing counterpart with a prettier face.  Seriously, is this such a big deal?  That's news from five full days ago (what a horribly biased headline, by the way..."banned" is much too strong a word).

I haven't asked anyone here yet, but I get the feeling this really isn't that big a deal to the locals.  Again, it goes back to the population problem: with so many people in the country, everyone's replaceable.  So, what the Communist government gives, it can also easily take away.  People know that, and as long as they're not too put out by it, and it seems to be for the common good (the Olympics clearly qualify) they're fine with it.  I'm not saying it's right, but that's just the way it is.  This kind of mentality is so ingrained in the Chinese culture that officials didn't even see a reason to lie about it.

“The reason why little Peiyi was not chosen to appear was because we wanted to project the right image. The reason was for the national interest."

-Chen Qigang, composer and music director for the Opening Ceremonies

Internet posters seem to feel for the girl that got replaced, but nobody seems too worked up about it.  Even the guy who pushes for an apology seems to be doing it more to sate the international community than the girl who got shafted.

And don't give me crap about the girl's self-esteem.  The Chinese have very little regard for wishy-washy feelings like that.  Either you make it or you don't in a country of 1.3 billion.  Live with it.

Office Olympics

Gotta love Dwight.

Sweet Georgia!

Is it just me, or does the international outcry against Russia's invasion of South Ossetia seem kind of muted?  I mean, Russia is essentially just flexing its muscles, saying "dibs" and taking over.  I understand that the Olympics are going to dominate the news, but given how much grief China's gotten in the 50 years since it moved into Tibet, shouldn't we be hearing a lot more from outraged politicians, celebrities and activist groups?  Imagine what it'd be like if China tried to annex northern Thailand or something.

Oh yeah, Russia's now threatening to launch a nuclear attack on Poland too.

Liu Xiang Limps Off

Liu Xiang, defending Olympic champion and former world record holder in the 110m hurdles, pulled up lame after a false start in the first round, disqualifying himself from contention early in the competition.  Doesn't sound like a big deal to us in the Western world, but Liu Xiang was the Chinese star in these Olympics, the Michael Phelps of the host nation.  The loss was taken so hard that many fans (and even Liu's coach) cried when it happened.

China isn't very strong in any of the track events, and this was their one chance to show their superiority in a (somewhat) marquee event.  A couple more in-depth takes on this at ESPN and NYT.

Badass-minton

China's Lin Dan is widely recognized as the Tiger Woods/Michael Jordan/Michael Phelps/etc... of badminton right now (sure, it's kind of like being the world's fastest tricyclist, but it's still a big deal in China), and he finally won his first Olympic gold on Sunday.

Why you should care about him:

1. He's also dating the world's #1 ranked female player.
2. He once threatened to bludgeon a South Korean coach with his racket.
3. He once punched his own coach during Olympic training.

He'd be a rockstar athlete if he was playing any other sport.

Update: After winning, Dan had this to say: "The gold medal has confirmed the fact that I am an outstanding sportsman."  

Phelps' Phinish

So apparently FINA, the governing body of swimming, is refusing to release the pictures that conclusively show Phelps' 0.01 second margin of victory in the 100m butterfly. Fortunately for us, we live in the 21st century, where we can use computers to break down video. CNNSI has the photo evidence here.

Gaokao: Part III

Sure, it's easiest just to score high on the gaokao and get into your university of choice, but there are more exciting ways as well.  Last Sunday, 500 students tried to get into Shanghai Normal University's School of Mathematics and Science using admission notices they'd received in the mail.  Turns out, the school doesn't even send out admission notices.  Nice try.

The Olympics So Far...

Been doing my best to follow the Olympics from Canada...lots going on obviously, but here are the top 8 stories in my view:

1. Parts of the Opening Ceremonies were faked. Fireworks were drawn in with CGI, and they had a cute girl lip synch for an uglier one (who had a better voice). If it wasn't obvious before, there's a lot on the line here for China.
2. Michael Phelps is dominating. So much so that a Chinese blog removed a "How Many Medals Will Phelps Win?" post. We all know he's only winning cause he's a horrible cheater though.
3. Pollution. Not so much a story so far.
4. China's cheating (told ya so). It's been using underage gymnasts (the minimum age limit is 16). Can't defend it, but I guess if you can get away with it, why not. What's rarely mentioned in Western articles is that this is pretty common practice in sports, especially baseball (though to be fair, there's much less on the line there).
5. The Spanish are racist. Parts 1 (the basketball team) and 2 (the womens tennis team). Jose Calderon, a Spanish player who plays professionally in Toronto, a city with one of the largest Asian expat populations, defends his team by saying, "We thought it was something appropriate and that it would always be interpreted as somewhat loving." He goes on to say anyone thinking anything differently is "confused", and, of course, that "some of my best friends in Toronto are from China".
6. China is raking in the gold. It's got 27 golds to US's 16 (thanks in large part to Phelps), though it trails in total medals 48-54.
7. More trouble in Xinjiang. A bus "accident" killed 30 three days ago. Needless to say, probably not an accident. And probably not the last attempt for attention either (though I hope it is).
   
8. And finally, the 21 Edicts from the Government's Propoganda Unit. Wonder how they got this. Also means things like this get no coverage at all in China.
   

Fun links, on the day that Canada finally passes Tajikistan in the medal count:

• Phelps eats a lot. Journalist tries to do same, fails.
• Journalist eats assorted animal penises to get a taste for the local culture.
• Bad Olympic jokes.
• Chinese rower misses race, dq's himself from 2 shots at medals.
  
• The Olympic Blue Screen of Death
• A horrific (I'm really not kidding) weightlifting accident.
  

Olympic Predictions

Had to go home to deal with some stuff, so I'm not actually in China right now. But I should be back closer to the end of the Games, when I hope to actually get to Beijing to get a feel for the vibe. Anyways, 8 predictions for the '08 Games:

1. China wins the total medal count. Maybe the gold medal count too.
2. Liu Xiang wins gold in the 110m hurdles. Barely.
   
3. Events have to be moved due to the smog.
   
4. Someone blames their losing on the smog.
   
5. No (successful) terrorist attacks, but
6. More and more coverage on Xinjiang and the Uighur separatist movement.
7. At least one successful rally/disturbance/uprising by a foreign protest group that gets international coverage.
   
8. Some scandal where China is accused of stealing medals by rigging the competition or tainting someone's blood test.
   

chī-nēz'

In my view, one of the biggest problems China's going to have putting on a good show to visitors during the Olympics will be Chinese itself. It's not at all a language you can pick up quickly, and visitors often don't realize how few people speak even basic English here. In my experience, Westerners expect China to be a lot more Westernized than it is (or than they should), and the language issue is a pretty good indication of that.

The biggest difference between the two languages is that Chinese is based around the vowel sounds, while English focuses a lot more on the consonants. The Chinese word da, for example, could mean 'big' or 'to hit' (and a couple other things), depending on how you say the 'a'. But Westerners don't really have a concept of that. They only really see one way to say it, short of changing the volume of their voice or saying it as if it had a question mark or exclamation mark at the end of it (which can actually get you close).

Personally, I've been plenty frustrated myself when I get a Chinese address from my friend in pinyin and can't get the taxi driver to understand it because I don't know what tones to use. And I speak some Chinese. Imagine the frustration a white American with no sense of Chinese will have. The whole thing can easily taint a foreigner's experience in China, and that worries me a little, because all that is no fault of the Chinese people themselves, who are often earnestly trying to help you out.

Blue Skies in Beijing

Just how clear are the skies in Beijing?  The Asia Society has had a photographer taking pictures of the view/smog out her window every day for the last year.  Check it out here.

Amazingly, only two of the top five clearest days were in 2008 (and so were three of the top five dirtiest days).  Doesn't say a lot for the pollution measures they've got going.

Beijing 2018

Don't screw with the SWAT teams in Beijing.  Or they'll hunt you down in their Segways.

They've also got guns that can fire nets at people and elite squads called the Blue Sword Commando Unit and the Snow Leopard Commando Unit (those guys were even trained in a "secret camp" for five years).  I'm still working to confirm whether or not this is actually a true story or if President Hu Jintao just had a crazy dream after reading some comic books.

And is it just me, or does it seem like the guys in that picture have Storm Trooper guns (complete with the laser ammo and the bew-bew-bew sound effects)?

Cheaters!

In the days before their World Cup opener against host China last September, members of the Danish women's soccer team say they faced ongoing harassment that culminated in the discovery of two men attempting to secretly videotape a team meeting at their hotel through a two-way mirror.

-CNNSI.com

So I realize that I've become somewhat of a Chinese apologist since I got here, but this one's pretty indefensible.  Plus I'm pretty sure the Danish coach's story is true.  Inside the country, the Chinese government is pretty cocky and assumes (usually rightly) it can get away with just about anything. 

I really really doubt China will try anything like this in Beijing though.  Too much at stake.

The Thing About the Chinese...

...is that one of them looks like Charlie Brown too.

"What I'm Looking Forward to at the 2008 Games"

In China, authorities often act as scouts for an archaic Soviet-esque sports model, plucking children -- sometimes the only child of couples in a nation with birth limits -- from the low-income, rural reaches of the country. Possess stout legs? You're perfect for weightlifting. Wispy frame? You're made for a marathon. Able to catch butterflies? Badminton is calling you.

Under pressure, and with the riches of national glory as a carrot, parents surrender their children to the sports factories, where they are sealed off from their families for years.

-Selena Roberts, CNNSI.com

I can't really disagree with that statement, but at the same time, it's pretty bad journalism to paint everyone with a broad brush like that, isn't it? National pride is a huge (and often misunderstood) thing in China, especially during the Olympics, and as much as the government "forces" kids into rigorous training systems, there's often a strong push from the family as well. Watch the first six minutes of this excerpt from a Discovery Channel documentary:

"I'd be so happy if I made it to the national team, but I think my Dad would be even happier!"

-Gymnast Jin Yang

I love how the father laughs as he's talking about how he used to beat his kid.

Back to the point though. There's no doubt that Chinese athletes are pushed harder than their counterparts in the West, and I too have read stories about how Olympic athletes are forced to continue training long after they've lost the desire to. That's obviously not right. But look at it from this father's perspective: gymnastics are probably the only way your (only) child is going to make a name for herself, and given the competition there is in a country of 1.3 billion, you've got to take that chance. Jin Yang's father knows how hard it is to stand out in China, and by letting her quit, he's really failing as a father to give her the best chance at success.

If it's not obvious by now, "happiness" isn't quite as viewed the same in China as it is in the West. "Happiness" is being able to beat out the 200,000 others gunning for what you have to help your family survive. The Western, loosey-goosey "doing what makes you happy" attitude is more like a sure-fire way to fail. And I say that having lived with elements of that mentality in my family, and knowing that it still exists in a lot of families that have recently emigrated from China.